This next song has been with me since it was released in 2000. It’s a Song of Songs in my book because of how it has spoken to me over the last 20 years.

After the turn of the millennium, I entered a very dark tunnel, but there was no light at the other end.  Instinctively I knew I had to keep walking toward the darkness if I was to have any hope of finding an exit on the other side. Retreat was not an option. It was a season of spiritual and personal doubt that was exacerbated by major events, 9/11 being the chief of blows. Everything I believed in was being challenged, but Spies gave me an alternative perspective.

As a writer, I believe and adore the power of words, and how the right word given at the right time can make all the difference in the world.  I love how a simple conversation with a thoughtful person can be life-changing. I may begin feeling one way and by the end I sense my back a little straighter, my head held a little higher. The lyrics of this song has that effect on me.  It turns me from despair to hope on two simple words. 

On my bucket list is to have a pint with Chris Martin and ask him personally where this song came from. Because it was so in line with the angst I was feeling. He begins with:

I awake to find no peace of mind

I said how do you live

As a fugitive?

Down here, where I cannot see so clear

I said what do I know?

Show me the right way to go

That was my prayer verbatim.  I had difficulty sleeping. I didn’t know where I belonged.  I had lost direction. I needed some help. He continues:

And the spies came out of the water

And you’re feeling so bad ’cause you know

And the spies hide out in every corner

But you can’t touch them, no

‘Cause they’re all spies

Who hasn’t felt this way? Surrounded on all sides by personal inner demons, aka spies hiding out in every corner. And I can’t do a damn thing about it.  When this happens, I reflexively begin to agree with this feeling of helplessness. And when I make agreements with the spies, I’ve just signed a contract consenting to their terms.

And if we don’t hide here

They’re gonna find us

And if we don’t hide now

They’re gonna catch us when we sleep

And if we don’t hide here

They’re gonna find us

Panic sets in. Negative self-talk becomes rationalized. I gotta go hide or they’re gonna catch me.

But light can appear in the tunnel in a moment and an unexpected messenger find me and change my perspective instantaneously.  When I awaken to discover that the spies I’m dogged by are just that. They are just spies. They hold no true power other than what I signed away to them in the bogus contract.

Spies came out of the water

And you’re feeling so good ’cause you know

And those spies hide out in every corner

But they can’t touch you, no

‘Cause they’re just spies

Spies from the 2000 album Parachutes by Coldplay

That’s why I’m feeling so good these days, 20 years later.  I see through them. They’re just spies

One Reply to “Spies”

  1. Love reading your writings. I keep you in my prayers. I cannot imagine how you must feel, starting life over without your beautiful wife. Hugs my friend. Big hugs!

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